A Story About Love

It was supposed to last forever but ended,30 years later.  For them it lasted a bit over 20 years and a little over two years ago we both lost him forever in this plane.

Last night I couldn’t sleep and I saw that she, the one I call”wife in law” was also awake.  I called her to check on her and just to talk for a while!  The conversation got around to him as it always does.  We each have our own memories and it is nice to share them with each other. He would have been 77 on January 6. I have come to realize that we each had a role to play and it was necessary for me to be the first when we were young.  I had the kids and three of them lived.  She had one of her own and by the time my role in his life was ending she was there for him.   They were the great love of each other’s lives and it was supposed to be that way.

We talked for over an hour, mostly about life after Edd!  He was a different person who was supposed to live forever, but passed from this life the way we all hope to go, spending the day on the farm he loved, planning his tomorrow, and passing in the night in his sleep!  I felt his loss as if it was the first time, but without the bad feelings I had the first time.  I wasn’t the one who had to make the call to the kids but I know how she must have felt.  It was supposed to last forever but ended on that October morning, just over two years ago.  We will keep on keeping on, each in our own way and each with our own memories, and at times when we are especially lonesome we will talk about our time with him and exchange the memories of our time together, each different but necessary for us all!  This is an ongoing story about love, ours and theirs, mine and hers and his.  It is gone for now but will live in our minds and hearts as long as we, the wives in law are around to remember and to check on each other!


14 thoughts on “A Story About Love”

    1. Thank you, Rebecca. We will both always love and miss him because we both know he needed each of us at different times in his life. She told me once that she wasn’t ready for him in the beginning, and I had to strike out on my own by the time she came into his life. And to continue being friends is a treasure for me.

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      1. That is lovely. My parents divorced and couldn’t get their act together much to give me & my siblings anything like that. That’s why my grandparents were so important to me. It is so admirable that the two of you have a good relationship.

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      2. I was extremely angry at first and it was hard for the feeling of betrayal to go away. More because she lived next door to us I think than it was anything else. We both knew the marriage was over long before the final divorce. I sure didn’t want it to affect my kids in any way except for having another person in their lives who would help take care of them when I’m gone. Not sure how much time I have left, but then who is? MS is a strange and cruel disease, but it can be fun if you don’t take it seriously all the time. Like anything else in life, I guess.

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      3. I’m sorry you went through that. Even when you know your marriage is failing it’s hard to deal with, especially after so many years together. It’s so admirable that you could work through your pain and come out a stronger person.

        MS is such an unpredictable disease. It sounds like you have a good outlook on it but I know that’s hard. Two years ago I started having auto immune issues. When your body starts turning against you it’s tough to understand. But MS is so many degrees worse than auto immune disease. Many prayers to you, you are one tough Kentucky woman!


    1. Thank you Irene. It becomes easier each year for me to talk about him, but usually when I do it’s with her. Only when you live with someone as long as we each did can you find the humor as well as the pain we all shared during our times together. And she was my neighbor almost all of the time I lived on the farm, so we were already friends. She came into his life about the same time I had to leave it. Admittedly it took me a couple of years to figure that out, but then we all spent Christmas and Thanksgiving together until I couldn’t drive out there any more.

      Waiting for my daughter to pick me up now so we can visit my Uncle who has less than a week to live. We were advised to come as soon as possible, so Gina is on her way and I’m getting ready to go as soon as she arrives. Just hope my legs and balance hold out! My mom’s youngest sister will soon be the only living elder in the family — only now my group are the elders! Scary!


    1. It always helps me when I talk with Kaye, Amy. She is his other widow and we have always called ourselves the “wives-in-law”. And we were both necessary for his life to play out the right way. It took me a long time to realize that our friendship could survive the divorce and I’m so happy it did. I guess we need each other even more now while she learns to live life alone and I’m looking toward my own end. Mine could last longer than any of the rest of them, realistically. I’m getting stronger as they are getting weaker, but then I’ve always had to be the strong one since I was 11, when the MS hit. Just have to look at both sides of every coin and keep an open mind — and share our stories with everyone who wants to hear them. Hugs, (((()))) and love ❤ ❤ <3.


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