I’m home again since 9:15 Saturday morning! They got me packed up the night before, brought my breakfast followed closely by the nurse with my discharge papers and told me I could go ahead and light a fire under Mike to come and spring me out of there. In about fifteen minutes they were loading me in a wheelchair and rolling me out the door to my handsome son who must have broken a speed limit or two to arrive that quickly. My nurse who was manning the wheelchair looked at him, he looked at her and I heard them both at the same time — “I know you!” Their sons played football in high school and had been friends off the field as well. The fun of living in a small town I guess!
So, while Mike and his friend were reminiscing, I was pulling myself up what seemed like ten feet into his truck by one hand thru the handhold place at the top of the door and the other hand on the back of the seat, kinda wishing they would give it a rest long enough for me to ask Mike for a boost. The left leg was dangling there almost useless in the upper body gymnastics required to hoist myself into that truck. Ya know, most of the time I like trucks. Most of the time I even like my sweet son. That particular moment doesn’t fall under “most of the time” . He finally had my stuff loaded in the back seat, said goodbye to the nurse with a few final memories of the boys glory days on the field, and came around to see if I was buckled in okay. He also informed me that in the state of Kentucky the adult who is not buckled in gets the ticket if pulled over, not the buckled in driver! And with a smile on his face at that!
I had sent him a photo of my last X-ray that showed the rod that holds my leg together now and the bolt at the top with a screw at the bottom and he said he had been telling his friends the doctor took the screws out of my head and put them in my leg. And you know, I was just so happy to be on the way home I didn’t even threaten to put a lump on his head with my rubber mallet when we got here. Not sure where I went wrong with this kid. His brother and sister are almost normal, respectful (sometimes) people. Of course this is also the Leap Year kid who just this year became a teenager so it could all be the normal aging going on in his head. All was forgiven though when we got to my apartment and he gave me a bag containing a large bag of BBQ chips and several of my favorite candy bars. He’s cute also so I guess I’ll keep him! Well, share him with his wife who has recently wondered if I wanted him back or not. Always with a smile on her face though so I know she loves him as much as I do.
Yesterday was adventurous to say the least. I started going thru the three weeks of mail that had been squashed into my tiny mail box and discovered that the census people are threatening to arrest me if I don’t fill out the papers I never received on the census. They were still squabbling over how to do it all when I broke that leg and now they want me to fill out some papers that were not included in that huge stack of mail! I guess tomorrow I’ll be trying to find out how to get these non existent papers they sent me to fill out. It’s quite possible I did fill them out while I was in surgery. After all, according to a nurses report seven years ago I was self medicating myself with 72 different drugs during surgery. Since I slept thru the surgery I couldn’t say what I WAS doing at that time.
I;m most concerned about the papers that went around my building from the office telling everyone to let them know how many absentee votes we needed here. Not sure when the deadline is on that one but I didn’t get the memo so I;ll have to check on that one also.
But this morning I had the best thing ever under any circumstances — a nice, long HOT shower! True, I has private showers in both the hospital and the nursing home, but what they don’t have is the really, really hot water I love. Or the hour i enjoy aiming it at all of the places that hurt. Today I spent an hour just aiming that water at my shoulder and leg and enjoying the relief it brought. Life is wonderful!