Last Night I Crashed!

I have always called it crashing. After several nights of being awake all night I lay down last night and fell asleep. Not just the regular kind of sleep but a very deep sleep that no one could wake me from.

I’ve done this many times in the past few years — maybe longer. But others only saw it happen in the past few years. This time was a little bit different though. I’m living in an assisted living facility now. Ya know — the kind with nurses on duty all the time. One of my friends had come into my room for a visit, saw me not moving, and according to them all I was lying there with my mouth open and barely breathing. I didn’t know about that, but it paints a very unattractive picture, doesn’t it?

Well, Lisa called the nurse in and she later told me I wasn’t breathing at the time. I didn’t know that happened, just that it wasn’t anything new for me. Still asleep at first I didn’t know what all they were doing until I began waking up. Goodness! one of them was pounding my chest while another was using a cold cloth to bathe my face. I tried to tell them to go away and let me sleep but the words wouldn’t come out. Frustrating!

I have always had a soft voice, my inheritance from my Dad, but to lie there and feel them working over me as if I were dying was pretty new for me. And to keep trying to talk and have them ignore what I was trying to say was even worse. I don’t know how long we were doing all of this, but maybe they had just been using the wrong words when they called my name and kept telling me to come back. I then heard another few words — the ambulance is here! At least that brought me to the point of being able to finally start waking up and talking so they could hear.

I have nothing against ambulances. Some of the time they are very comforting, like when I broke my leg. But when I am waking up from a deep sleep it’s a bother to hear that they have called one. I mean really! I was just catching up on all that lost sleep!

The guys had rolled the gurney in by the time I was fully awake, and they kept saying I should go to the hospital to be checked out. I kept telling them I was okay and it wasn’t anything new. It was the first time I had ever heard the details of what I looked like though.

The medics asked a couple of times if I was sure and I finally convinced them that it was a normal thing for me. I’ve always called it crashing, mainly because it only happens after i’ve lost a lot of sleep, but I was kinda afraid to tell them that. They left and I started sit up, only to have Karen, the nurse, push me back down, sit beside me and bury her face in my shoulder and cry. She was having flashbacks of when someone in her family passed away and she thought I was dying at the time. I told her I had been trying to tell them I was just asleep but she said I stopped breathing and my B/P was not readable. So that’s how it feels to be dead? That would be so disappointing. I’ve always heard that you can see a light and walk toward it and you are there! All I saw was a good night’s sleep.

I think everyone on staff last night came in to hug me and tell me they had been so afraid. I finally told them it was not a big deal, it happens a lot and the next time they should just go out and close the door and I would either wake up or not, but if not that’s the way I want to leave this world, in my sleep and peacefully. I have a feeling I will have to write that down for them now. The “living will” kind of writing. I have one but my son has the copy I made. At least I think he has it.

Anyway, that’s how I began my evening yesterday. One of the aides told me I had missed dinner, like I really cared? I asked her what they had but don’t remember what it was. Just remember that I told her I didn’t miss it at all, I wouldn’t have eaten it anyway. She agreed with that! I had been eating a bag of popcorn when I fell asleep and I finished it after removing the safety pins and a couple of chunks of wax they had dumped in there when they came in. I was in the middle of pinning a quilt together at the time and Karen said I was lying on the pins.

So, I finally got an idea of what things look like when I am so sleepy and tired that I crash. My mouth open?!!! Not the attractive picture I always had of it all. I hadn’t even had my shower yet!

14 thoughts on “Last Night I Crashed!”

    1. Oh heavens, Keith, that was not new for me. I’ve been doing that for several years and this is the first time I was ever considered dead — unless you count the time the lady who did my laundry called them because she couldn’t wake me. She told me I was sitting there snoring and when I didn’t wake up she was sure I was dead! It took a long time to convince her that people who are snoring are NOT dead, and I’m not convinced she ever believed me!


  1. I can see why they would have been panicking, if you had quit breathing! But, like you, I’d prefer to just be left alone, let nature take its course and I’d either wake up when I was ready, or not. Hugs, my dear friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve told the ones who are around me the most, including the doctor who came to visit while at the other place to back off as well. Hadn’t done this for a few years so didn’t think to tell the people here about my “death” sleeping habits. ‘but who wouldn’t want to die in their sleep? Just fall asleep in this plane and wake up in another. Much better than suffering for months with something like cancer!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ll stick with a wolf. I’d hate being dressed up in cutesie little sweaters, being walked on a leash wearing a diamond-studded collar, and probably having my nails coloured and being ‘groomed’ once a week or so! Nope, let me roam free and unfettered through the forests … 🐺 AARRRRROOOOOOOOO (and howl at the moon at night).

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my what a tale…. So pleased that you are Okay Angie.. and I can see how scary for those witnessing your Deep Crash into Sleep Land it was..
    It must have been very upsetting for those caring nursing and care-giver staff…

    I know my hubby sometimes stops breathing in his sleep, I am sure this is his normal sleep pattern every night as he seems to stop for ages, and I often dig him in the ribs lol… Much to his annoyance upon me waking him LOL 😉 But for you this too must be your own normal sleep pattern.. To go without sleep for long periods and the Crash out..

    Good to know that those around you are caring and keeping an eye on you both in wake and sleep time hours..
    Much love my friend.. Take care. of you ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Taking good care of me, Sue, Thank you! Just a short follow=up, last night I had just drifted off but not fully asleep one of the girls who was here that night came in and touched me, waking me up, but she then hugged me again and was beginning to cry again. Can’t fuss about someone loving you enough to do that!

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    1. Thanks, Colleen. After all, life is a Cabaret, so just Send in the Clowns and we can all have a good laugh. And just to prove that there is something funny about everything in life, just as I wrote that I sneezed one of those huge satisfying sneezes — except it was also one that made me spray my laptop at the same time. Guess it needed some cleaning anyway.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I guess it is for people who don’t know how normal it is for me. I made sure the rest of the staff knew it’s not something serious. I had heard before that I never move when I’m asleep. Interesting to hear that my mouth is open as well. At least I wasn’t snoring!


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