On Life and Death

I just re-read Jill’s post about people around us passing away and how so many times we don’t know it, realize it, or sometimes in my case, wonder but don’t know exactly how to find out. I’ve lost a few blogging friends and discovered later they had passed away after wondering where they went. Many of them have stopped blogging due to work changes or family problems, but there are the others I still wonder about. I know how to look for them but keep putting it off because of my schedule or some other lame excuse.

My aunt and I had wondered for years about a cousin (her niece, my cousin) who had fallen off our radar. Just a month ago I found her obituary — dated two years ago. She lived in Texas and our only source in Texas was my brother, but since he also passed away two years ago no one knew about her any more. Or maybe they just didn’t care. She wasn’t one of the more popular relatives, but I loved her anyway. We were kindred spirits during all those years of childhood and young adulthood, losing touch only after old age set in. Not a good time for us to lose touch, but neither of us could travel any longer and we had both had problems with handwriting for several years. Not a good excuse.

When my brother passed away two years ago I was notified by email. My sister sent out the notification. Not a good way to learn about a death in the family, especially when it’s your brother. I would have learned about another cousin’s death the same way if not for my aunt calling me early today about it. We all knew it was imminent, but still, the email that was sent would have been hard to take. Too many memories shared to be disposed of with a few words in an email.

One of the comments I read was to have someone tell you when a blogging friend passes away. Great idea, but I wonder if anyone will notice if I’m gone. None of my kids read my blog. I started it to share my memories with them, thinking they would be interested. Nope! No time for reading nonsense.

Ah, well, I have already planned my funeral so when I get in a mood like this I just write a paragraph telling the funeral home to divide my ashes into three urns and give one to each of the kids with my final instructions that they are to place the urn on the dining table so they will have to eat every meal with me for the rest of their lives. I’m also planning on finding a way back to upset them if they fail to follow my last instructions to them.

I wrote this last month and thought I had posted it. Now I find it in my drafts, apparently unsent. So now, while I’m working on my next post about the Assisted Living facilities in Kentucky I will go ahead and post it all. It was pertinent in December and still is now.

My Mother, deceased, and brother, deceased and notification sent by email.