Baby It’s Cold Outside

And getting colder by the second.  Rainy weather just seems to do that here, but given a choice between the rain and the possibility of snow (a definite 4-letter word) I prefer to have my moisture falling in rain form.  I’ve only hydroplaned one time in the rain, but just can’t count high enough to outline the times I’ve slipped on the ice and snow!  A couple of times I was even in my car and went into the snow banks.  Getting out of those puppies was a story in and of itself.

My first spectacular slip and fall was when I was a senior in high school at Mount St. Joseph Academy.  I came running down the stairs from the dorm, a serious infraction only when we got caught, hit a patch of black ice and in a flash was looking up at the sky rather than toward the dining room.  Back then I think I was hungry all the time, and we had some of the best food in the world coming into that dining room.  I even learned to love liver and onions there, something I would have said was impossible before eating it in that dining room.  Well, off point as usual.  To get back to that fall, the usual penalty for being caught running down the steps was to have to go back up and walk down a couple of times.  At least getting the wind knocked out of me that morning made that a moot point.  If I remember correctly, I reacted the same way then as I do now while looking up at the concerned faces of my classmates and the dorm monitor — I just began laughing!  You have to admit that was a ludicrous position to be in even in icy situations.  Later in life I would try to just hide from anyone who was looking.  Mmm, sometimes it worked.

The one time I really could have used some help was just a few (well, 16 – 17 years) ago.  I was attempting to clean the ice off my windshield before heading out to work.  One second I was standing on the curb chipping at what felt like a foot deep incrustation on the windshield, the next one I was under the car, looking up at the incredibly blue sky and the tree limbs.  I hadn’t seen that view before so just decided to stick around in that position and enjoy the view.  I also needed some time to figure out exactly how I would get out from under the car without being seen by everyone on the block, all of them doing the same thing — chipping ice off windshields.  One would think that it would be as easy to slide out as it was to slide under, but since the under part was involuntary, it really took a long time to get out of that situation.  This was on a Friday — I remember that so well because it was going to be a short day at work, and I ended up making it even shorter by calling in for the day.  Kinda wrenched my back a bit during the trip down, or the impact maybe.  It didn’t bother me as long as I was frozen but once everything thawed out, let’s just say it began to smart!

Have you ever noticed the way you “dance” when you hit ice?  I bore easily, so that’s a favorite thing for me to notice, having done it myself.  Arms windmill, feet dance around scrambling for traction, that slow, steady journey from being an adult, making your way slowly downward, spiraling out of control, mouth open but no sound coming out, knowing you really don’t want this part to end because the landing will definitely NOT be pleasant, that entire lifetime passing before unbelieving eyes as you go down in slow motion until SPLAT! the whole thing is over and you begin inventory to make sure all body parts are still attached and undamaged.  Gee, I almost miss that feeling of relief when you discover you are okay.

And now I am getting hungry from all this falling already.  I thing last night’s leftover lasagna is calling my name, then on to another round of brown ‘n serve rolls — making them, that is.  Maybe even more ice cream (just threw that in for my cousin who tells me I make her jealous and hungry), sorry Diane.  Have a good last minute shopping weekend.  A. 

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