I ZIGGED WHEN I SHOULD HAVE ZAGGED

Lessons learned in the past eight days! Take my time when standing up. Call 911 as soon as you fall because it only hurts worse the longer you wait. When the EMT’s and Fire personnel arrive feast your eyes when they all turn out to be very good looking.

Monday morning of last week I stood up and turned around a bit too fast and down I went. If only I could always take my son’s advice and hit my head I might have been okay, but naturally my feet slid into a pile of stuff I had been sorting through and I knew immediately something was not right. My nurse was coming so I knew the door had to be unlocked for her but walking wasn’t an option, so I scooted to the door, a very long way to scoot! Ya know what they focused on at the ER? My butt! Sure, it was kinda red from scooting on it, but for heaven’s sake, my ankle was the size of my waist, and I have a very sizable waist now.

Hooray! I made it through the night with all parts intact. PT just left a few minutes ago and advised me the next time I got bored I should just call and talk to them instead of falling. What a concept! Come to think of it, my Aunt told me the same thing earlier. I do have a hard head, but that does sound like a much less painful idea than trying to pirouette on my two left feet. I’ve tried to convince people that I’m actually very graceful with no success at all. But! I got to show the PT how well (?) I could maneuver the knee walker. He must have seen something funny out the window because he just kept laughing at me. It could have been my 28 point turns or possibly the parallel parking routine. Now who uses parallel parking any more when it’s so easy to just drive into a spot. I’ve circled parking lots for hours waiting for a spot, not lately of course, but when I still drove a car. Now I just weave my way around people looking for a place within a mile of the store and drive right into the front door.

He insisted that I sit back in my lift chair so he could witness the dismount. I made it okay — at least in my opinion. Left foot never touched the floor, right hand on the arm of the chair while left one was moving my sewing stuff off the cushion, a kind of flop to the seat. Like I have said, I’m not a graceful swan, but I made it intact without ever touching the floor with the left foot. Now I’m trying to convince my bony left knee to give it up and stop trying to complain. Guess I’ll have to make a cushion for it but that seems so much like spoiling a crying baby who didn’t get the toy he kept pulling off the shelf in the toy store. I wouldn’t do that for the baby so why spoil the knee? Oh, of course! The knee is attached to ME! The baby was not by that time. And really the baby always had a lap full of other things it had pulled off the shelf so one more was just one too many!

Now it just occurred to me that I had enough sense back then to leave my own kids with their dad when I went to the store. It was the grandkids I took with me. And there are different rules for the grands. You can spoil them rotten and send them home with the parents! Since my youngest one is 18 now — I think, I had forgotten that part. Just remembered the fussing and crying if they had to put something back.

Wow, a good samaritan just brought me a burger and fries so I think I’ll be occupied with putting those to some good use for a little while. Talk to ya later cause right now I’m going to show the cow that burger came from just how cows should be treated. I can say that because I used to chase the beasts all over the country when they broke through the fence on the farm.

A.

Another Day In The Life

Actually it’s more like another several days lately.  I began looking for the remotes to everything I have that has a remote, finding to my chagrin that most of my electronics in the audio/video field have them.  As luck usually has it, no two remotes are alike and none of them will operate anything other than the one thing they came with.  One would think they would come out with ONE remote that would take care of all of the little boxes, kinda like the Universal remote I once had for the boxes.  Haven’t found one that works yet, so after trying the five that I found, I still had to go on a scavenger hunt for the main one — the one that turns on the WiFi.  Oh, I could have moved the two feet across the room to do it manually but hey, that would have been too easy.  And to change the channels on the TV requires it’s own remote.

My objective here was to find a way to make my soundbar work with the TV.  I’ve had the soundbar a few days and it worked with my phone, my computer, my Kindle and all the rest of the things I play with.  Haven’t checked to see if it also acts as a barber/baker/house cleaner, but it’s been turning things on at will lately, but I really, really wanted to make it work with the TV because that was the reason for the purchase.  So, today, after realizing the TV probably didn’t work was because it wasn’t plugged in (minor oversight on my part there) I plugged the sucker in after going those two steps to reach the outlet, only to be blasted into semi-deafness by the volume, extremely LOUD, that hadn’t been working because, well that part was already explained.  Fortunately I was able to figure out which remote would control the sound (the one to the soundbar, go figure!)  It seems I had managed to pair the two a few days ago without realizing it.  One of my new found skills is pairing Bluetooth things and then trying to figure out which control will do the most to the many devices.  I won’t even consider the ones that have no remote at all and that require a touch-pad,  another skill I’ll have to learn sooner or later.  But I have now managed to get all of my stuff to work with the soundbar now — I think.  I’m even doing a slideshow of my photos on my TV.   This would be quite an accomplishment if the music would play at the same time, but since I’m not all that sure how to do it I have more experimenting to do.

Speaking of experiments, not to myself:  DON’T EVER EXPERIMENT WITH LAME IDEAS FOR ICE CREAM RECIPES!  My latest bright idea was to make the orange/vanilla dreamsickle kind that I remember from last year when I was a kid.  After churning my concoction for the better part of 2 hours I finally concluded it would not freeze, so I dipped it out of the bucket into individual containers and stuck it in the freezer in a last ditch effort to come up with something that didn’t need a straw or a sippy cup to protect my shirts.  This morning I tried it, found it edible but not something I will be tempted to try again for about 50 more years.

So, now for an attempt to add photos here, because I’m not keen on enclosing my devices so you can see each addition, I’m gonna cross my toenails, hair roots and eyes just to see if that will help my search for the things I want.  Then I think I’ll take some typing lessons — again.  It’s either that or find a way to make my fat fingers go on a diet and exercise program.

So here you have it.  I had to add some orchids, of course, and the large one of my canned goods is here because my darlin’ son, Don asked me if I eat anything but beans, applesauce and soft drinks.  The answer is – once in a while I do, mostly fresh stuff though that doesn’t keep well on the shelf!  Ha Ha!  Kids have no respect after they reach 50 themselves!